Have you ever prayed for something and received back a “no” as an answer ?
Did it seem like the end of your world?
Did it feel like God was cold and far away and unloving?
I’ve been there.
Heck, I am there.
What I once thought was an issue with God turning a deaf ear has now turned into an understanding that he is closest in those moments. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”- Proverbs 34:18. I have to admit that it doesn’t really feel that way. Rather it feels quite the opposite. Maybe that is because I wasn’t really looking to God for help. I was looking to everything else (friends, internet, books) but God….oops. You see, I am the master of distraction. I can find a way to distract myself with a twig and a leaf; if I really put my mind to it (make side note: craft with twig and leaf).
My problem is I think just because I pray for something I should get it. Kinda like little kids think of Santa. I reasoned that because God loved me he must want to give me “good” things. Interestingly enough, I found that sometimes mine and God’s definition of “good” don’t match.{Insert: shocked face here}
Funny how that works.
My defintion of “good” is what would be awesome for me at this very moment. While God who can see much further past this present moment (“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9) understands that my defintion of “good” may not be in my best interest. Friends, God is all about finishing the good work that he started long ago (Philippians 1:6).
I am assuming that the “good work” means he is working on my heart (aka character, integrity, all the hard stuff).
I like to think of myself through God view, as a work of art. I know that when I am working on art I typically do better when I am by myself. It’s just me and that piece of fabric. I begin cutting, sewing and stitching all over the fabric. If one where to come upon me in the midst of creating, one may comment on what a mess I am making. One may suggest I cut off a corner, or paint that swatch pink or a varied of other suggestions.
The problem with coming in at the middle of the project is that only the artist knows what the final product should look like.
Only the artist is knowledgeable to know what things should be added to the piece of art and which things are better left alone. When I put things into that perspective it helps me to better understand that prayers aren’t a wish list to God but something else.
My prayers are morphing into thankfulness to a God who supplies me with a fresh supply of mercy every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). My prayers are peppered with requests that God give me a better understanding of his love (Ephesians 3:17-19).
See friends, the more I started really reading the Bible the more I began to understand that my prayers aren’t wish lists but rather a conversation with God.
A conversation filled with thankfulness (not in the manipulating way of I am thankful for this now give me what I want) but thankfulness from a heart overflowing with it so to not speak of it is impossible.
A conversation where I ask for things with lasting results like wisdom rather than a good spot at the parking lot (yes, I prayed for that once…silly).
A conversation which acknowledges God as the driver in this car rather than the back seat driver (this is the hardest part of my prayers for me.)
Finally, the conversation ends with a plea for the strength and endurance to be all that God wants me to be (this is where I wipe the sweat off my brow).
Oh I get it! Conversation not wish list. Still more to be learned on the matter but that’s where I am at currently.
I just wanted to give you a glimpse into my life. A small crack in the shades to take a peak at an unfinished piece of art that God is in the middle or to be frank maybe at the beginning of putting together. Who knows really…I am just the bit of scrap material that God thinks is valuable. Sure, glad he does too! Just think of all the things one can do with scrap material (mental note: scrap fabric).
Thanks for allowing me to share my heart with you.
2 Thessalonians 3:5: May the Lord bring you into an ever deeper understanding of the love of God and the endurance that comes from Christ.
Do you know how expensive herbs are at the store? Like 3 bucks a pop! I think my eyes were bugging out of my head when I saw the price tag. Seriously, that is a ton of money for a one time gig with herbs. I typically, don’t buy herbs at the grocery store because I usually just go get them out of my garden. Unfortunately, my garden is hibernating so to find some in there would be impossible.
